[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
you re not high-intil, then we shouldn t push it. But you don t know when you
might be taken by it.
And this place full of Gens!
Yes. I d be horribly jealous. And so would their Sime.
Laneff had meant she might kill, and she knew Jarmi had deliberately
misunderstood. Yet this was very much the Rior attitude. How do you manage
without a Controller? What if somebody took the wrong Gen?
Sosectu would straighten it out, and of course Bianka or one of the other
channels would have to find a match for the other Sime or serve them channel s
transfer.
Don t renSimes who ve taken direct Gen transfer, and carry that signature in
Page 62
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
their nagers, get caught by the channels when they turn up at Sime Centers for
channel s transfer?And what about the computers? Every renSime is expected to
turn up somewhere for transfer on schedule! Surely they notice?
The Tecton system isn t as tight as you might think. But seriously, how can
I tell you our secrets when you aren t even pledged to the House?
I m not likely to go back to the Tecton! said Laneff. I ve had enough of
the Diet. She rubbed the band on her arms. Where else is there but here?
Well, replied Jarmi with real daring in her nager, you could go back to
the Tecton and live on channel s transfer by using K/A to control the transfer
aborts that cause death in disjunction crisis. You d live as long as you could
here maybe a good lifetime.
Laneff had never considered that, but in a moment she rejected it. K/A may
have been the cause of Digen s death. Not a bad way to go, actually, but I ll
try everything else first. K/A might help control aborts, maybe even all the
way into disjunction crisis. But it won t prevent death in disjunction for an
adult.
Why?
The experience of her own disjunction was with her as never before. Because
if a drug stopped the aborts, and let the channels force selyn into you, you d
die of the cause of the aborts anyway: the craving for killbliss. Nothing can
substitute for killbliss.
She remembered the Sime woman, looking older than her years butalive five
years without killing. How?
Laneff, I don t intend to substitute anything for killbliss. I intend to
give it to you. And I intend to survive to give it to you again and again.
I ll get better at it with practice. Her smile glowed through her nager. If
I get good enough, if you ll help me learn, then maybe you ll be like Thereda,
and not even go into disjunction crisis at all.
I wish I could believe that, said Laneff miserably.
Listen. This is the great secret of the Distect. Killbliss is the Gen
experience, not a Sime experience at all. The Sime only shares it. The few
who ve learned to give real killbliss tell me it s better than the ordinary
pleasure everyone takes in transfer.Do you know how that used to make me feel?
With my speed/capacity profile, I couldn t even have the kind of ordinary
transfer partner everybody else has. But you and I are match-on, and you re
junct. We have a chance at the very best possible kind of experience. My life
is finally turning around, and I m so happy I could scream!
Jarmi s relish for the experience eased Laneff s misgivings, letting her need
progress smoothly. With each passing day, Jarmi took increasing delight in the
advancing symptoms of need, patiently wanting the transfer, and thus making
Laneff want it, too.
But, after the killbliss she d had at the kill, she found the grinding ache
of need slower in onset. She realized she hadn t known what she was getting
into when she accepted Jarmi s offer of transfer. True, she couldn t choose
channel s transfer here because Bianka, their best channel, was just too
infernally slow for Laneff. That one taste of Bianka s touch was all Laneff
thought she could tolerate. But she could have asked Yuan.
Page 63
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
Perhaps it would be better if I brought him my full need? Yet the memory of
the infinite depths of his nager told her that even if she were in attrition,
she couldn t scratch the outermost layer of his selyn pattern. And it was the
core of that pattern that she craved.
Struggling tokeep at least some of the momentum of the lab work going, Laneff
took to snacking and sleeping in the lab while nursing the various procedures
they had in progress. In need, she could hardly sleep, but would rest on the
surface of sleep, skimming shallowly into dream and nightmare.
Once, when she lay down to wait for solvent to wash out a chromatography
column, she dove into a most familiar need nightmare.
The desert heat blazed down on the high-walled compound. White-painted adobe
buildings with red-tile roofs and barred windows baked under thenoon sun. Heat
shimmered off the surface of the swimming pool and ball courts, barely
shadowed by the trees. Two tall palms waved fronds in a slight breeze so high
it was unfelt on the ground. Not a person moved on the grounds of the Rialite
disjunction compound, Teeren.
Laneff drew the heavy drapery across her window, shutting out the hot sun and
depressing scene. She turned the air conditioner up a notch. The frigid breeze
chilled her, making her body want to burn selyn faster just to keep warm. Need
blazed brighter than the outdoor sun.
She paced, fighting the obsession, her hands shaking. She tried the breathing
exercises they d taught her to calm the jangle of tension, but they only made
her gasp breathlessly, her heart pounding even faster. She wished she could
cry, but need blocked that release, too. Need would accept only one kind of
release.
Time crawled as her body raced to its death with herself as a helpless [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl ocenkijessi.opx.pl
you re not high-intil, then we shouldn t push it. But you don t know when you
might be taken by it.
And this place full of Gens!
Yes. I d be horribly jealous. And so would their Sime.
Laneff had meant she might kill, and she knew Jarmi had deliberately
misunderstood. Yet this was very much the Rior attitude. How do you manage
without a Controller? What if somebody took the wrong Gen?
Sosectu would straighten it out, and of course Bianka or one of the other
channels would have to find a match for the other Sime or serve them channel s
transfer.
Don t renSimes who ve taken direct Gen transfer, and carry that signature in
Page 62
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
their nagers, get caught by the channels when they turn up at Sime Centers for
channel s transfer?And what about the computers? Every renSime is expected to
turn up somewhere for transfer on schedule! Surely they notice?
The Tecton system isn t as tight as you might think. But seriously, how can
I tell you our secrets when you aren t even pledged to the House?
I m not likely to go back to the Tecton! said Laneff. I ve had enough of
the Diet. She rubbed the band on her arms. Where else is there but here?
Well, replied Jarmi with real daring in her nager, you could go back to
the Tecton and live on channel s transfer by using K/A to control the transfer
aborts that cause death in disjunction crisis. You d live as long as you could
here maybe a good lifetime.
Laneff had never considered that, but in a moment she rejected it. K/A may
have been the cause of Digen s death. Not a bad way to go, actually, but I ll
try everything else first. K/A might help control aborts, maybe even all the
way into disjunction crisis. But it won t prevent death in disjunction for an
adult.
Why?
The experience of her own disjunction was with her as never before. Because
if a drug stopped the aborts, and let the channels force selyn into you, you d
die of the cause of the aborts anyway: the craving for killbliss. Nothing can
substitute for killbliss.
She remembered the Sime woman, looking older than her years butalive five
years without killing. How?
Laneff, I don t intend to substitute anything for killbliss. I intend to
give it to you. And I intend to survive to give it to you again and again.
I ll get better at it with practice. Her smile glowed through her nager. If
I get good enough, if you ll help me learn, then maybe you ll be like Thereda,
and not even go into disjunction crisis at all.
I wish I could believe that, said Laneff miserably.
Listen. This is the great secret of the Distect. Killbliss is the Gen
experience, not a Sime experience at all. The Sime only shares it. The few
who ve learned to give real killbliss tell me it s better than the ordinary
pleasure everyone takes in transfer.Do you know how that used to make me feel?
With my speed/capacity profile, I couldn t even have the kind of ordinary
transfer partner everybody else has. But you and I are match-on, and you re
junct. We have a chance at the very best possible kind of experience. My life
is finally turning around, and I m so happy I could scream!
Jarmi s relish for the experience eased Laneff s misgivings, letting her need
progress smoothly. With each passing day, Jarmi took increasing delight in the
advancing symptoms of need, patiently wanting the transfer, and thus making
Laneff want it, too.
But, after the killbliss she d had at the kill, she found the grinding ache
of need slower in onset. She realized she hadn t known what she was getting
into when she accepted Jarmi s offer of transfer. True, she couldn t choose
channel s transfer here because Bianka, their best channel, was just too
infernally slow for Laneff. That one taste of Bianka s touch was all Laneff
thought she could tolerate. But she could have asked Yuan.
Page 63
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
Perhaps it would be better if I brought him my full need? Yet the memory of
the infinite depths of his nager told her that even if she were in attrition,
she couldn t scratch the outermost layer of his selyn pattern. And it was the
core of that pattern that she craved.
Struggling tokeep at least some of the momentum of the lab work going, Laneff
took to snacking and sleeping in the lab while nursing the various procedures
they had in progress. In need, she could hardly sleep, but would rest on the
surface of sleep, skimming shallowly into dream and nightmare.
Once, when she lay down to wait for solvent to wash out a chromatography
column, she dove into a most familiar need nightmare.
The desert heat blazed down on the high-walled compound. White-painted adobe
buildings with red-tile roofs and barred windows baked under thenoon sun. Heat
shimmered off the surface of the swimming pool and ball courts, barely
shadowed by the trees. Two tall palms waved fronds in a slight breeze so high
it was unfelt on the ground. Not a person moved on the grounds of the Rialite
disjunction compound, Teeren.
Laneff drew the heavy drapery across her window, shutting out the hot sun and
depressing scene. She turned the air conditioner up a notch. The frigid breeze
chilled her, making her body want to burn selyn faster just to keep warm. Need
blazed brighter than the outdoor sun.
She paced, fighting the obsession, her hands shaking. She tried the breathing
exercises they d taught her to calm the jangle of tension, but they only made
her gasp breathlessly, her heart pounding even faster. She wished she could
cry, but need blocked that release, too. Need would accept only one kind of
release.
Time crawled as her body raced to its death with herself as a helpless [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]